We had breakfast at the hotel's lavish buffet. Charlie's breakfast included a chocolate covered donut, dumplings, and two hard-boiled quail eggs (SO TEENY!). Then we went up to the room, put our official gifts and other things together and met our group in the lobby ... And we were off.
The room where we met the children today is different from last time in 2010, although we will be in that room tomorrow to finalize the adoptions. Our group of three families got out office van and walked down the street and into the building. I got some video of us following Rita into the building, even though I was sure our guy wasn't there yet, and it turned out that was lucky, because the one family's son WAS there, and I was able to get the moment where the dad and his 7-year-old son whom he had hosted in the winter were together again. This little one was excited but perhaps overwhelmed by the moment and the two of them stepped aside to a quiet corner to talk, and make some calls to the rest of the family in California, and some quiet tears.
The rest of us poured into the room and got settled. There was another family there from a separate agency, and their son was already there too, but had been taken out on a walk so they were waiting.
It seemed only a moment or two before the other family in our agent was being introduced to their new 5-year-old son. He was very sweet-looking and carefully dressed. They had never met until today, and he was frozen for a while and then turned to his orphanage people, and finally began to cry. His new family did all the right things, staying by him and comforting him and rocking him.
In the meantime the other little guy returned and was introduced to HIS new family. He was a cutie too. By contrast with the previous little one, this boy was all smiles, was handed off to his new parents comfortably, and didn't get upset when his caregivers left the building, although he did look up as they walked past him down the hallway. It's always difficult to know this early whether that's a function of them not really getting it, or not really having attachment experience yet.
Around then, a final family arrived, a group of folks from Ohio. I'd met them in person only that morning but had been talking to the mom via Facebook for several weeks. Not only is the little girl they are adopting from the same orphanage as Thomas HeHu, they are friends! So we eagerly waited, and waited, and waited for our children to show up, and finally they DID. First their adorable little girl came in, wearing the same beautiful dress she's been wearing in many of her pictures. She transitioned pretty well to them -- she was solemn but open -- and although she's never been taught sign language was copying some of their gestures. But I didn't see as much as I would have liked to because by then we had our arms around He Hu.
When he left us in January I remember thinking he looked a bit more glowing and connected than he had when he came to us, but this morning he looked pale and small and a little crumpled. Partly I think because he had once again been massively car sick on the trip to Zhengzhou and was still white and shaky. Maybe he was nervous too, and overwhelmed by the situation. Anyway, I wanted to scoop him up and pour all the love and attention and nutrition and kissing of owies and so on into him that even the very best orphanages cannot lavish on each and every child the way a family can.
I settled for putting my arms around him, letting him make eye contact, and then telling him I loved him and giving him a hug and a kiss. The next few moments are hazy, in which Charlie and Tim and I all reached out to him and petted him and hugged him and talked to him. After a bit Tim scooped him up and we began hearing a little more of how he was doing, and saw his orphanage people -- including the very nice lady who was his chaperone! I was so glad to see her again!
As he settled in with us a bit, he began to loosen up, and his serious, scared little face began to show a hint of the mischievous amusement we loved this winter. But he kept it pretty locked down for a while. I began to feel he was willing to be smiley with is but there were too many other people around for it to be safe.
In the end I think he was terrified he wouldn't get to leave with us. I asked his so-nice chaperone if he knew he was coming to us today, and she said yes, she had told him. And I asked if she was scared and she tried to answer then looked stumped then got help from Rita. Rita listened to her and then told me, "He has been counting each day until you come. Each day he waits to see you."
That brought tears to my eyes and made it hard to read the guardianship agreement I was signing. It explained so much, and it made so much sense that he said goodbye to his caregivers politely but without fuss, yet rushed to the door with us like a little hobbling lightning bolt when he could see the adoptive families were getting ready to leave.
Once back in the room a lot of the He Hu we know came to the fore and has been ever since. He slurped down an impressive lunch and are most of a very large apple. We went swimming and he, as always, loved the water ... but, and this was new, he did not want Charlie to leave the warm hot tub to swim and play in the cold big pool. "Cha-lie guo lai!" He would bellow imperiously. Charlie was sweet and patient about coming back to him regularly, and playing with him or near him -- but I cut Charlie loose a lot to play with his buddies ... he's made a lot of friends!
(Among them is his new brother ... and I'm seeing a gentle side to Charlie, a big brother side, that either wasn't there before, or didn't get a chance to shine in December, when He Hu didn't seem as eager for the big-boy attention. Charlie is really wonderful with the little guy, and the little guy looks up to him, and I'm trying to reward Charlie's efforts by giving him plenty of his own attention and special stuff, like some iPad game time when watching He Hu play endlessly with Post-It notes palled a bit.)
After swimming we set out for dinner with a fellow adopting-after-hosting dad and his son. After much walking -- challenging because He Hu really needed to be carried and the other dad's son was using a new walker -- we found the restaurant we were in search of ... And found it was closed. Sigh.
We hiked on, looping back around toward the hotel, and fetched up at a different place. Not fancy, and a bit grungy, it nevertheless had menus with pictures and what I think of as English subtitles, and the food was good, came quickly, and more or less matched the pictures. 224 RMB later we had fed 6 people to bursting, left food on the table, :-(, and we were out the door and back on our way.
Home and straight into the big tub. Then PJs, teeth, a bit of a movie, and a video chat with Mary (age 12) and Caroline (age 8) and Maymee (undisclosed) back home. So good to talk to them! We had a happy call, with HeHu trying to photobomb regularly. A few more minutes of movie when the call was over and then both boys settled down into the same double bed. I snuggled Charlie and told him how amazing he is -- cannot tell you how proud I am of him as he rises to this challenge -- and then gave He Hu the hugs and kisses I have so wanted to give him since he got on a plane in January. We have a long way to go with him -- he'll need medical attention for several things, his development in all areas is a bit of an unknown, and growing up in an institution leaves a lot to be desired in terms of ability to securely attach to your new parent or parents. But we all like each other and some of love each other and it turns out all of us have been counting the days. So that's not a bad foundation to start with.
After those hugs and kisses I tucked and retucked and retucked a very wiggly He Hu in and sat on the chaise pulled up against the bed to hold my hand on his tummy and keep him settled. In the last 4 paragraphs, Charlie fell asleep and very quickly afterward, He Hu followed, with his one finger snuggled safely into my hand and his new bear held tight. And then Tim (it turned out) was racing He Hu to that finish line and is snoozing on the other bed. So I'm sitting in the dark listening to three lovely gentleman sleep peacefully. A perfect ending to a remarkable day. Good night all. :-)
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